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I’ve known loss, I’ve cried a thousand and one tears…

This piece is dedicated to all those that have lost loved ones to cancer and are struggling to cope. Watching someone waste away, change from that old familiar face to an unrecognizable one can leave you broken down to the point of no return. Many a times people offer their condolences and make promises to be there for you but as time goes by they stop being there and you are left feeling alone and confused. They stop not because they don’t care but because your loss is not as personal to them as it is to you. Dealing with such a loss is never easy but none the less you can over come it. ACCEPTANCE is the first step.

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Accepting that they are gone can and will do more than you know. It sounds all so simple and yes you might say “well daaahh…who doesn’t know that…”, WRONG.!! Speaking for myself, its taken me over 10 years to accept and finally I am strong enough to embrace it, to talk about it…

The second step would be to ALLOW YOURSELF TO GRIEVE. For over 7 years I never allowed myself to cry. I hardened myself and my heart because to me crying was a sign of weakness. I felt the need to be strong for my siblings but I didn’t know that all of that would back fire. I was what you’d call a ticking time bomb and it was only a matter of time till i exploded. I had to let myself grieve…cry and let it all out. Trust me when I say that was the best thing I have ever let myself do.

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TALK ABOUT IT. Talking has been proved to make one feel better no matter what situation you are in. Do not fool yourself into thinking that you can do it all on your own, you are strong but not that strong. Talk about how you feel, let those feelings out. Bottling stuff in is the worst thing you can ever do. Its not a sign of strength and all it does is eat away at your soul. You become bitter to the point where people do not want you around anymore.

Lastly EMBRACE YOUR NEW LIFE WITHOUT THEM. Embracing this frees you from the bondage and shackles of their death. This for me was the toughest stage. I battled with it because I felt like embracing meant forgetting about her, about them… How could I… Now I know that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Your loved ones will always be with you and you should never feel guilty for living your life or being happy after they are gone. If anything they wouldn’t want anything else for you but happiness…

Accept,Grieve,Talk,Embrace… I do hope this helps you in dealing with your loss and or help you to help someone going through it.

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