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This is no poem, tale or lie but a life sprawled on a tear stained letter written neither in ink nor lies. Invincible is what I’d be, immunity is what I’d have but I’ve got neither so instead agony and grief is what I am.

The well of my reserves at an all time high, tears unshed why ever would I cry? No need to be low, I stay at an all time high. Death has lost its sting, a dream sold, the dark cloud overcome or so believed so it becomes no greater than just another thing.

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Weekly limit on my tears in a parallel universe, I wake up Sunday with the well of my reserves run out. A truck full of sorrows delivered to my door step, messenger unknown, return to sender revoked so I cry a well of tears, the message in them ever so clear. Oh daddy won’t you make this disappear.

I blink and my high becomes my low, my smile replaced by a blank expression of a heart left sore by the motions of a life thats gone beyond raw . Hunger driven decisions, dreams sold to quench a thirst for life, so I cash in my happiness and end up with a sack full of illusions undiced.

Choking on words soaked in tears, or rather tears thick with words.  A 10 page letter to my father written in blood, sweat and tears just so he gets it, listens and hears.  A billion questions for my father hand delivered by the wailings of a young girl’s heart just so he sees it, feels it and heals it.

Oh black November, showing  up blue black just to spite me, or maybe just to over right me.  A letter to my daddy, won’t you please end the year in a hurry. Feeling much like an outer body experience, appearing like you’ve lost your ‘bling’, you show up and make a wreck of my much loved dreams.

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In a parallel universe, you’ve lost your sting though now rather irrelevant for your state leaves me not with a brighter fate or lesser ache.  A letter to my father, I AM won’t you please take me to a better place.

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*AprilsLoveChild*

 

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