I wish I could understand why the rain falls the way it does, why when it hits the window pane, my eyes feel the need to create a beautifully sad duet to the beat of my tainted heart.
A deafening silence leading one to the depths of despair, the sun retreats and with it my wishes for a moment longer basking in brighter rays of the olden days.
With the black of night masking me from the turmoil that is day, I fall in love with pages turned grey and can’t help but yearn to escape like pebbles washed away by the lightest of rains.
Needing and wanting to fully express and pour out my heart to you, I let my fear of rejection keep me from you, keep you from hearing me. For you see, if my words splashed, spilled and inked onto what used to be blank canvases saved for the broken you rejected, would I live to try again? Would my heart and soul recover and live to gain?
Needing and wanting to tell you that I’m willing to try if only you tried with me, if I wrote and gained the courage to pass this love letter to you, is it guaranteed that you would read it, heck even receive it. An ocean created from a thousand tears, we’ve sent a message in a bottle on a regular, sit and wait by the shore for a response that may never reach us for it may never have been sent.
Going round and round in circles I lose sight of what I am trying to achieve here. Grief and fear stricken, in this here moment, I am much like a child dying to pass a note in Elizabeth Bathory’s class. Afraid of how I’ll meet my death if Countess Dracula caught me but alas FORTIS FORTUNA ADIUVAT!!!
The plague of not trying would kill you more than the pain of having done so and suffered for it and with that my love letter to you I write for the world to see. I have tried but for this to work, we need to try together, fight to be one again and create an unending passion for each other once more. For you see, even though I’ve loved and lost plenty with her, she’s not only where I’m from, she will remain the very definition of who I am even when I’m long gone.
*Fortune Favours The Brave*